One Night in Bangkok

When researching our trip, I paid close attention to learning about the scams we might encounter. Taxis were high on the list for both countries. People online talked about the “meter turn off” scam more than anything else. Second to that were people trying to divert you from the attraction you’re visiting, saying its closed or crowded. Turns out we would encounter both early on.After touching down at Bangkok Airport, enduring the slow customs staff and collecting our bags, we went in search of a metered taxi. We knew somewhere there was a cue and process to collect a ticket and obtain a taxi. We just couldn’t find it. We knew it was outside. We wandered around looking for the taxi stand, making ourselves targets for the private car hawkers I’d learned were con artists. We finally found the stand on a totally different floor and got in a cue that seemed to take hours. All the while my stomach warning there was only so much it was going to tolerate. We had left Nihn Bihn at 11am, it was now 7pm. A long long day. We asked the girl managing our cue how much roughly our ride should cost. She said no more than 500 bht. We finally got a car and were on our way. The driver didnt know our hotel and although I gave him a print out with the address he still was puzzled. He kept asking the phone number, I kept giving it to him. However. I was unaware I was adding the country code, 66, that was on the print out. He kept yelling 66, what 66. At which point, I was thinking, “you’re a freaking cab driver in this city, were going to a large resort hotel. I shouldn’t have to give you directions!” He pulled over on the highway and had me write the number large so he could dial it, all the while mumbling 66 and other things. F you dude. I just spent the night depositing everything I’ve eaten since 8th grade in to the commode of a lovely family establishment. Don’t poke the tiger, jackwad.He finally got the address and the said something into Google translate. Which he then played for us. It said, “You agree to pay 700 bht plus tolls. please pay the driver immediately.” “No” I said to him. “Meter!” “No meter, No meter” he replied. But Dayne chimed in that we were paying the meter or he would call the police. The whole point of standing in the cab line was to get a metered taxi. We thought it was resolved.I had learned in advance that you do have to pay the tolls, so as we neared a toll he was calling “50 bht 50 bht!!” All we had was a single 1000 bht note (about 42 bucks) that Dayne was highly reluctant to hand it over. I told him you have to pay the toll, so he gave the driver the bhat.The driver went through the toll and without looking at me hands me 300 bht. Attempting to keep the 700 he wanted. At this point, Dayne, who is usually pretty calm, but tired and head achy by now, flipped out! From the back seat he grabbed the money from the guy and screamed “THAT IS MY MONEY!!! I GIVE TO YOU, YOU NOT GIVE TO ME! YOU ARE A BAD BAD MAN!!” He legitimately lost his sh*t. The driver was yelling something back about not being a limousine, and Dayne just kept yelling that he was a crook. I was kinda scared the guy was going to leave us on the side of the highway, but I was also kinda cheering Dayne on! That jerk was a bad, bad man!We settled into an uneasy silence when another toll came around. Dayne still fuming, handed him a 100 bht for the 50 bht toll. Ready for another go! But the driver handed him the change immediately. My alpha-male had clearly worked it out. We sat in over an hour of traffic as the guy mumbled stuff and sighed heavily. FINALLY, at 9pm we arrived at the hotel. The staff opened our doors and began unloading the car. The driver assisted. Now he didnt want to look bad to the hotel staff. He hung his head and refused eye contact as Dayne paid him 500 bht. Yeah, not today Siam, not today! Scam averted!We walked through the doors of our hotel and everything changed. Everyone was so nice. They welcomed us, took our luggage, even gave us a tour of our room, which was beyond glorious! We both collapsed. I ordered a sandwich and fries from room service to split with the hope of keeping something down. A few bites and fries was all I managed. But it appeared to hold. With that, we fell into a coma-like sleep, unaware what would be waiting out our windows, and that our luck would change in the morning.